Fears, what are they? We all have them. Where do they come from? Why do we have them? What is their purpose? How come some of us have them more than others? These are all questions that bring to our attention our own vulnerabilities. When we look at our fears and face the darkness and immerse ourselves in the darkness, we humble ourselves and honor the unknown. In doing so, no matter how emotionally frightening resting in the unknown is, we show to ourselves that it is our “beingness”, without the need for action, that supports us in our darkest hour. So crucial to our “beingness”, this center that we can call home, the beginning of our truth, is our self-esteem.
Self-esteem, the fundamental source of our being, gauges our sense of self-worth (not to be confused with confidence which has more to do with how we socially express our ability in meeting challenges). Our self-esteem is paramount in helping us address our fears. Not only does a fortified sense of self provide the strength to face life’s challenges by tapping into the source to do so, it also gives us the ability to maintain our integrity when faced with choice. Knowing who you are and having a sense of worth is fundamental to honoring your truth as the gift of your life. Self-esteem and self-love can be learned. No matter where you begin and however much darkness you are in, you can find the light. That light is your own sense of worth, self-esteem, and structure of your life. It is your purpose on Earth and when infused with emotion brightens the world.
The emotional component colors all your lessons and experiences. They are like internal signals reflecting options and the choices presented to you in order to guide you. The choices you make either confirm or disaffirm your growth in honoring who you know yourself to be. So it begins again with learning to know yourself. “Consciousness is like a mirror” states Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard. Let us find the mirror in understanding what it means to be a woman, our purpose, and identity as differentiated from that of a man’s identity.
We are all different and our unique individual lights highlight the truth that we embody. The more darkness the more lessons, the more potential for light and with that light comes a vision which potentially produces more light. What is light? The awakening of consciousness to the understanding and offering of one’s gifts that supports the wisdom of life. What is the wisdom of life? Honoring with integrity one’s intrinsic joy in contrast to fleeting pleasure. It all begins with knowing the self and the inner self as your guide.
An Exercise
To begin look into the darkness to find the spiritual light by making meaning and then transforms it into her strength and the dignity of her life. How is this begun? Firstly, the darkness must be found. Secondly, the darkness is replaced by light through the trans-formative powers of the mind and then aligning the emotions through the process of experience and time.
Let’s take a look at some THEME in your life. Themes appear when you take notice of blockages, reoccurring experiences, not feeling fulfilled in some way, things that work well for you, questions of uncertainty, your abilities, your desires, possible “negative” experiences you have had in the past, and what fills you with joy. Make a list of 20 of the memorable experiences.
Now that you have some of those experiences in mind, write in third Person, as in “She”, a two page story that incorporates 5 of the above experiences in which you have felt most confused, in the dark or particularly emotional about in a negative way such as in being angry, hurt, sad, depressed, vengeful, pessimistic, etc.
Once you have completed the two page story, look over it and answer as best you can the following questions:
- What is your pain?
- What is worth fighting for in your life?
- How is joy and success fearful to you?
- What don’t you know?
These questions bring up areas of darkness. Have you found an on-going theme in your answers to these questions? If you have, write that down. Now going over the story once again answer these questions:
- Had it been different, what would you have liked the experience to be?
- What knowledge would you have needed to have created that experience?
- What do you still need to know?
- How could you make this an empowering experience?
- How can you separate yourself from others so to be accountable for your own life and recognize the choices that others make?
- What can you do to nourish yourself and support your spirit in the present moment?
- What do you love?
- What meaning have you made from understanding your darkness?
Spiritual joy is the reward of living in your light, in the nature of your “beingness” and together women, strengthening light, can offer a lantern to the world as our spirit is that of the Muse, the trans-formative light in the world that guides all relationships.
Women as leaders of light, lead through relationships, whatever your world of relationship is and your relationships start with the relationship you have with yourself, your light, your self-esteem, your self-love.
Stephany Lane Yarbrough
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